Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
