Can Purell be used as lube?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
