Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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