What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I am naked and annoyed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
