I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
