im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
