Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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