FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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