There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
