i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
