we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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