Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
