So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize