dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
