Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
