so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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