Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Swine flu. Run for my life!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
