I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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