i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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