Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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