haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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