I am puke
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
