I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
