He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
