So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
