I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
