I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
