dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
