He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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