Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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