just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
