I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
