8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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