Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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