Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
