Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize