Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
