i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
