all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
