Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
