Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
