I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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