uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
