would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
