i don't like sucking hair
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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