butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize