i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
