They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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