oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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