I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im holly from the hills drunk
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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