My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
