Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the day after is always just damage control
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
