When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
