dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ketchup is God's man juice
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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