I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
