I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
