Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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