Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
