I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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