I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
