Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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