but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
