Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
