Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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