It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
