remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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