I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is Oprah even human
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
