That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
