all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
